Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A case of mistaken identity?

It may sound strange, but Robert's name was not always Robert. Bob and I had chosen a different name entirely for our second son. Or I should say, Bob found the name and we both fell in love with it (much like what happened with Mason's name). If you have not gone through the loss of a baby, you may not understand. But I actually know several people who have made the same choice that we did, and for many of the same reasons. It does not mean that we did not think through his name or the reason for it's choosing. We just felt that God was leading us in a different direction.

Robert was supposed to be named Asher. I love that name and still do. Asher literally means "happy."

For several reasons, we changed his name from Asher to Robert. First, the death of our son was so hard and painful that we didn't feel that giving him a name that meant happy was appropriate. Second, we held on to the hope and promise that God would bless us with another son and wanted to save the name Asher for our next son. Heck, at this point, I love the name so much that I'd use it for a girl! And last, it was Bob who decided to change his name at the last minute. Bob's formal name is Robert. I think that it was Bob's way of staying connected to a son we would never know here on earth.

I have hope that I will have another child. I still miss my Robert every day, but I can't wait to meet my Asher.

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